The Journey of Life

i must be better

2009-12-25T22:35:00.002+08:00

I realised i have wasted most of 2009 on worthless and ultimately empty self pity and negative thoughts must aim to change that in 2010 on not my own strength but His (but must put in herculean effort of course). 2010 will be a better year a year where i will learn many more things to make up for my wasted years.

2010 WILL BE BETTER!!

Forgettable post from a forgettable person

2009-09-12T14:15:00.001+08:00

i just realised how forgettable i am when a friend FORGOT me for his wedding. CRAP. enuff said.

This is my now

2009-07-20T23:35:00.000+08:00

There was a time I packed my dreams away
Living in a shell, hiding from myself.
There was a time when I was so afraid
I thought I’d reached the end.
Baby, that was then.
But I am made of more than my yesterdays.

This is my now,
And I am breathing in the moment.
As I look around,
I can’t believe the love I see.
My fear’s behind me,
Gone are the shadows and doubt.
That was then.
This is my now.

I had to decide.
Was I gonna play it safe?
Or look somewhere deep inside,
Try to turn the tide.
Find the strength to take that step of faith?

This is my now,
And I am breathing in the moment.
As I look around,
I can’t believe the love I see.
My fear’s behind me,
Gone are the shadows and doubt.
That was then.
This is my now.

I have a courage like never before, yeah.
I settled for less, but I’m ready for more.
Ready for more…

This is my now,
And I am breathing in the moment.
As I look around,
I can’t believe the love I see.
My fear’s behind me,
Gone are the shadows and doubt.
That was then.
This is my now,
And I am breathing in the moment.
As I look around,
I can’t believe the love I see.
My fear’s behind me,
Gone are the shadows and doubt.
That was then.
This is my now.
This is my now.

On friends

2009-07-12T19:15:00.002+08:00

Tdy i really felt that i have been dwelling too much in my state of loneliness, blinded to not see the truth that actually there is a lot of people who sincerely care about me and that i have many great friends(or potentially great friends) that i have been neglecting to deepen my friendship with....and i have been focusing too much on the negative rather than see the obvious. haha....

very much looking to the week ahead while looking back at the past...

I surrender all to You...

On relationships

2009-05-18T10:53:00.002+08:00

the past 2 weeks have been ok...been thinking quite a bit about relationship and i figure i might sort myself out first before seriously getting into another one if i still have the energy to by then...cos the problems that might arise will be more than what i can handle...why like that? isnt it supposed to be happy and blissful? i really dont know...it has become more of a torturing thing to me...maybe i can change this mind set in time to come but for 7 months i am dropping this thought....working on myself for the time being.

today got another interview at a Co at Tanjong Pagar...as a consulant exec something related to planning....

2009-04-27T02:06:00.003+08:00

Today worked 11-3 only...very shiok...i went to watch Arsenal vs Boro with Chris and his gf after he played his regular weekly football with Cis which i didnt join because i decided i will get some rest...so met them and talked random stuff(as we usually do) and went up to Chris house to wait while he got ready....watched a bit of Star Awards...must say this year they made it rather entertaining! So got down to watching the match proper...wasnt really very exciting but was good...shd go sleep now cos chest hurting after abt 2 hours of Sudden Attack (a CS type game)

SERIOUSLY MISS STUDYING!

2009-04-27T02:05:00.001+08:00

And this is my prayer in the battle
And triumph is still on it's way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand

YES i will!

Results - 1 Apr 2009

2009-04-09T02:46:00.001+08:00

Results came out on April Fools...dunno whether shd trust the results or not..hahah

Accounting - C
Audit - A

GPA: 3.302

Future: ??????

Haiz.

IQC Class Chalet cum graduation celebration!

2009-04-09T01:47:00.011+08:00

Day 1 - 23 Mar

Met up with Joeii and Dishan to do some last min shopping at Sheng Siong before cabbing over to the chalet. Its at some ulu part of Pasir Ris park...next to a forest somemore! after a very long road in....and it was hot like hell....wah..
after that wait for yamei to come check in...then suddenly the uncle in the office(if you can call it that haha more like a home) asked for a copy of the receipt...which i didnt print cos my com broke down and i got a new one just days before today. Lucky Yamei's friend was able to fax over the receipt. So we went in and checked the stuff...sorta reminds me of the milltary...check this one and that one...so when that was done i was doing the finances for the chalet...after that dishan they all left for IRAS volunteering training and i left for work...can u believe it i still need to work....reached "home" at 11 pm...they bought orange juice from MACs and doughnuts for me too...thanks girls! really made me feel at home haha...then played heart attack and watched tv...

Day 2

Rented bikes and went out to Eillas mall to get the stuff that was missing (Drinks etc)...we rode in a single file and i felt relaxed and able to enjoy the wind and smell the roses...great feeling to have once in a while....dishan rented a bike! was really afraid she would aggravate her injury...she proved to be more than able to cycle...haha...also discovered yamei is strong when she long bang-ed Hwee Ting and Dishan for a long distance...hahah....rode last in line so that i can see all of them as we were riding really close to any incoming traffic...become safety officer ah...
We prepare the food for the BBQ and the malay gals cooked up a storm in the kitchen with the instant noodles that we bought...YUMMY! I was a bit lost on what to do as they were so efficient in doing everything...ended up doing random things! Great job girls!
So the fire started...and went off and repeated....Mdm salinah, his husband and one of her kids came to visit...bringing along a delicious cake from Hans...had a lot of fun playing ball with her kid...SO CUTE!!! But i not going to have kids of my own so fast though...hahah....the comical part was Mdm Salinah trying to give me $30 for the chalet but i insisted on not accepting...which i tot i succeeded in till they tell me Mdm Salinah dropped off the money at the front pouch after hugging someone...and it got passed back to me...aiyo! Cher! say invite you already still pay...but thanks cos the money really helped to clear all the food costs. =)

Some of us went for a night walk aftert that ..just a simple walk and talk. Then we went back to play volley ball..haha..at about 12 plus..some of us went to bathe..then everyone gather to play heart attack..played till 2 plus..still not sleepy so went up to our room to chit chat..haha..at about 3plus 4 we went to sleep..haha..really enjoyed the feeling of heart to heart chatting.

Day 3

Time to say good bye! I woke up at 8 plus if i rmb correctly...then walked bala out to take bus to work...this brother of mine deserves 10 out of 10 for effort...he cabbed down from work on Day 1 costing him $30 plus and on Day 2 came down even though it was very late already...and he needed to work both days! Take care bro!
So after bathed packed our stuff and handled the checking out and took group photos.

We shall have one more chalet!! Its in the works!

Savin me - a right choice?

2009-02-27T15:21:00.000+08:00

All I need is you
Come please I'm callin'
And oh I scream for you
Hurry I'm fallin’I'm fallin'
Show me what it's like
To be the last one standing
And teach me wrong from right
And I'll show you what I can be
Say it for me
Say it to me
And I'll leave this life behind me
Say it if it's worth saving me

Next Level

2009-02-14T12:24:00.003+08:00

What exactly is the meaning of getting to th next level? I want to go to the next level in my studies(means part time poly or private aft this since i am graduating in less than 2 mths time), my family life, my cg and start ministry and handling ppl....but i can only depend on God cos i feel weak right now...i really wanna change...i still dont have a clear focus yet.

Anyway i missed this week's PM cos of various reasons...shall attend later...think my committment is slipping cos of part time work..tsk tsk....and they like want to take up my fridays which leads to another headache aft grad cos i really do value cg above work and i have to start missing events on fri that i will REALLY enjoy....

Got scolded by a teacher ytd for not attending a CCA event. Its not my fault that 8 Interactors showed up for the event only. I am super frustrated because they dont treat me as a VP in the first place...i know i am wrong but where is the respect in the first place? and i am one of the last to know of ANYTHING that happens in my CCA. Sounds like ranting but it will make me feel better.

ADVANCEMENT TO NEXT LEVEL.

2009-02-08T08:42:00.003+08:00

Hello everyone...shall blog a bit about my work...its my first week of work at Ramen Ten and its for th experience more than the money (seriously would you want to work for $4.5/hr at Tamp when you live in Hougang if not for the experience?)...worked mon, wed, fri and going to work today. The work is manageable but tiring...at least for th first week....

i did clearing plates, serving food, taking orders and chatting with ppl...i am new so dont have topics with everyone yet and frankly there are some ppl who just make me uncomfortable talking with them. (or rather a particular group of ppl who i nv tried to talk to in my life)...should break through!!

The main manager doesnt make a gd first impression cos she started scolding everyone th first time i saw her on fri with the liberal use of the F-word....we were tired and eating our staff meal at 11 plus at night and the senior part time staff gt scared and doesnt want to eat anymore and she came in and said "better eat and go home or if i really lose my temper all this will end up on th floor!" WA how threatening! I work for you not your dog.

They take it seriously in training staff through i just want a job for the next 3-5 months (I estimate that is all the time i need to gain all my experience on my first F&B job) bef i go find something better. yeah they count in months when u work there so ppl who work for 2-3 seem senior already....

ok should go get ready for my first sunday of work...going to be busy.

Hunger

2009-02-03T23:41:00.003+08:00

Hey do u know how it feels like to not have enough for food? you really gt to experience it to believe th depression that it makes people feel but still in singapore we are considered very fortunate yet i hear ppl complain all the time.

In Africa, they have it much worse....

This is a pic taken of the famine in Sudan...a girl is on the way to a feeding center barely alive and a vulture lurks behind her waiting for her to die so that it can have a meal...its really sad that this situation still exists in an world we called advanced....its not really balanced...

Anw dont think will be posting soon cos my week is packed with work, studies, cell and service.

I lost my voice and i want it back! argh! i wanna talk normally! hahaha

2009-01-20T16:55:00.001+08:00

Thanks for the opportunity Lord...no matter the outcome is, its all in Your hands.
But i still NERVOUS!! haha!! Ask me in person those who want to know! lol

I humbly bow down before You

2009-01-18T11:48:00.004+08:00

well its time not to be an emo elmo anymore...it is wasting time...God's precious time for me and not fulfilling the potiential that He placed in me. The more i worry the more there is to worry about...and drives aways friends when i suspect things for no reason...Jesus, take the wheel of my life.

Service was great...had a relevation that fitted in perfectly with the messenge so i guess it is really a wake up call...to the YEARS i wasted milling around in the past.

I guess this year will be defining.

Gotta chiong for Exams and Life all the way this year.

2009-01-16T21:31:00.001+08:00

you can’t give up, looking for a diamond in the rough
The wind shows up, (make sure you’re holding on)
Cause it could be the one, the one you’re waiting on
Cause nobody wants to be the last one there

12 January 2009

2009-01-13T01:01:00.003+08:00

How strong a guy is, there is always chinks in his armour(even if it is polished nicely)...frustration and bitterness tend to double or triple when many things come together for me...time...just need more time...or maybe i just need to take one time at a time...and relax....

today went to school rather late...was feeling kinda tired and half asleep...reached school at 10.15 am...went on a job hunt aft school...then Popular tell me nt hiring(Both BBC and Suntec wor...must be the economy)...i cant believe it! Popular nt needing ppl is like a person nt breathing for a day and nt dying...

Anw i walked around and chanced upon an ad at GELARE CITYLINK(PTL..) Went through the interview and the manager want me to work 4 days a week...i can only promise 3 or 4 days(not very convincingly) a week and it will stretch me to the max...

Red Cliff 2 is reccommended show! Go catch it!! Its a bit deep though. Now 1 am already so i better go sleep if not tmr cant wake up in time.

2009-01-12T00:56:00.003+08:00

How much concern for a friend is too much concern?

Just feel frustrated sometimes that my good intentions are often misconstrued. If i didnt care, will it be better? Can caring be overdone? I didnt know that. Or is it just my style. Is it better if i just bo chap everything as before. I know the difference between caring and plain outright overfriendliness so dont take me for a fool.

Sorry just super frustrated with my life. You can ignore this post. I will ignore you in return. I dont want to reach a point where i feel concern for ppl is wasting my time. I have been down that road before and its nt good. I am human too treat me like one pls.

2009-01-09T01:38:00.002+08:00

hey ppl,
am back, didnt post for a long time already...recently school just reopened. i guess time really flies. Before we know it, we are just 2 months away from graduating...this term i must really change all the mistakes that i have committed throughout th year like sabo-ing my own attendance, nt paying atttention in class etc...enough of that emo stuff alr...before i really regret it.

today was a enjoyable day...we had a change of SW teacher who made us do 20 push ups on THE ROAD(i only did 11 out of 20) and run 2 rounds ard the car park which was enough to make me breathless for a few minutes..haiz...later we played badminton and basketball with lawson, randall, sharon, shi hui and jessie and me...was fun game and i realised i cant shoot properly...oh well i didnt touch basketball since secondary sch(mine was SIX years ago) so understandable hor? say yes please!

then came accounting aft a hour and half break...was ordinary...then another break! went to snooker room's and slack a while..before going for auditing...was rather distracted with the net during lesson...hahaha..then went home and slept for 4 hrs! jialat! tmr sure tired!

sometimes life dont really go according to plan...going CG outing tmr and SP open house on sat...

2008-12-19T02:20:00.002+08:00

I just read that a couple in AMK decided to enforce the law on...the law enforcers???? apparently they told police officers that they cant park in a sheltered drop off point..i mean they know the law right...i was bemused by the report...funny world we live in...

Today went for interview at the Night Safari...was recommended so i think the chances of getting the job quite high...working as a retail assistant...back to my old line in the end...

Countdown: 3 months plus to graduation.

2.4KM

2008-12-10T20:47:00.004+08:00

hey ppl, am back...just had my first SERIOUS 2.4 KM training...attempt...i didnt time it and just jog and walked my 2.4 KM...i saw stars at the end and felt a bit dizzy so i think its sorta a sign that my body wants me to take care of it more...haiz...anyway i will persist with the exercise as i desperately need it.

I will fight the problems that i have the only way i know how to for all of my life....with brute force...not literally but you get what i mean la...dont you?

I have feelings too.

Destiny

2008-12-01T22:05:00.003+08:00

There is something called destiny, something called fate...which is very funny and will hit you with a moment that you never expect...i didnt expect mine and i dont think i will be the same ever again...will look back in surprise and look forward with apprehension..but i know that its for the best.

A lot of over due pictures coming up...

sian..i need to retake my acc CA and audit class test tmr...BBQ on wed, napfa test on thurs and then finally birthday celebration and PM on fri! this week is going to be filled with fun!

I hope...that the emptiness and loss will pass but i know this decision i did not make out of lack of love but for the best.

Disappointed

2008-08-23T04:46:00.003+08:00

Disappointed why there will be people who will judge you before they know you fully. Should i turn into one of these judgemental, impulsive people of this world as well? Go ahead afraid and jumpy at every turn. HELL NO! I am me for a reason and that reason will not change. If i am different let me be different. I will change but only out of my own accord and not because of external factors. RARR! You will nt influence me.

On another note, i slept at 7 pm Fri and now am fully awake at 4 AM Sat...LOL. Got to go service and then play pool with my friend over at Katong. His treat! LOL...

Bored

2008-08-08T02:28:00.001+08:00

Haiz...anyone want to help me improve my blog? It looks SO boring with all words and no pics and i have no idea to improve it. BLOG HELP NEEDED!~

2008-07-28T01:43:00.002+08:00

Saturday 26 July 2008

Watched The Dark Knight with my GF. The joker performance is simply first class! Hope he gets that oscar he worked so hard for before his untimely death. He locked himself away in a hotel room for a month with Batman comics and watched past Batman movies over again to really grasp the character of the Joker. I personally think he got depressed because of the darkness of the Joker and was so into the role that he cannot get out. Feel sorry for him. Time with my gf was great! We spend barely enough time together.

Sunday 27 July 2008

Woke up at 12 pm today. Felt really rested. slack till 3.30 pm before heading for work 5-10 pm...came home and rested a while more...i promise i will post pictures soon!

You raise me up....

2008-07-27T01:30:00.002+08:00

When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up: To more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up: To more than I can be.

There is no life - no life without its hunger;
Each restless heart beats so imperfectly;
But when you come and I am filled with wonder,
Sometimes, I think I glimpse eternity.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up: To more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up: To more than I can be.

John 15:7 is going to inspire me to do just that. Thank you my Lord.

2008-07-24T19:22:00.002+08:00

Today i failed my costing CA by THREE marks. My Interact teacher angry with me for not attending an event because i got something on. I feel like i have been attacked on all sides and all my weaknesses have been used against me. No mood. Really NO MOOD! Gonna study for the retest which will be quite soon i guess.

I will post pics and give my blog a revamp in the near future so stay tuned for it guys.

Life

2008-07-10T14:11:00.002+08:00

Life is so full of surprises. Just got home from my 4th day of school. School got so many things to learn...except i am learning the non academic ones now haha lol...got to buck up on my law, accounting and costing...of course i dont want to go to school to fail. I dont understand what teachers teaching half the time. Cannot focus.

Nothing much to blog about since i am just going about my routine in life recently. Shall return when i am more interesting haha.

Random Stuff

2008-06-23T04:33:00.002+08:00

Been 3 months since i blogged. Just didnt have the energy and thought into blogging. But now i am back! Here are just one of the many things that happened in these 3 months...should post them as i remember them...in no specific order.

-I interacted with some indonesians from my church and must say they are super friendly and easy to talk to! Despite the language barrier with some of them, i still can talk to them. Its just that some times its funny when i try to say what i mean in actions and they dun get it...I like the Indonesian Praise and Worship songs! They really rock! First time i interact with indonesians when i so old liao (Please dont call me Mr Sua Ku)

Week

2008-03-22T09:04:00.002+08:00

Been lazy to blog in the recent days.

Monday to Wednesday went for my class group chalet. First day had steamboat and alcohol(sinful!!haha!) but didnt get myself very drunk because i just didnt like the feeling of not knowing what you are doing. Second day didnt go to see horses with them because the alcohol hit me and i was tired out. We did go to the arcade though. Slient Hill was damn hard to play...haha...Overall had a good time in the cosy chalet which was suprisingly more beatiful than the other chalets i have been to....

Thursday started work. Was irritated for reasons i should not say.

Friday Dear came over to my house for some spring cleaning of my room and now my desks look neater than they have been my entire life!! Thanks dear! I will try my best to keep it that way.

Photos will be uploaded pretty soon.

Lost...

2008-03-17T02:33:00.002+08:00

who can help me? i am feeling lost in life and beating my self up everytime for being a late starter but i really cannot help it because i feel i should have known more for my age...I feel i might be better off alone but i am sick of being alone...and scared of it too...can see the situation improving but still not ideal.

During this past month, alot of things have happened. But the influence of someone walking along and helping me in my life have changed me greatly.
He is none other than Lord Jesus Christ,who i can do all things though. My friends, this might come as a big surprise to you. But i will stand strong in my walk with Him.

Tomorrow morning will be going for an interview at Popular...relish the challanges of working there under my good friend...also going for a 3D 2N class group chalet tomorrow...looking forward to relaxing...has too much stress in my life right now....

Argh!

2008-02-04T13:18:00.000+08:00

Argh!! I missed school today! I woke up at 7.30 am...then after messaging my friends went back to sleep for a while (or i thought so) but slept all the way to 12.15 pm(we end at that time)...haiz...hope nothing new was taught...

Mum's Birthday

2008-02-03T02:15:00.001+08:00

Today was mum's birthday...my other mum, Joyce's mother...I woke up at 12 plus then after some breakfast and preparations, went to TML to get a gift for her mum....thought of getting her a wallet BUT SHE DOESNT USE A WALLET so ended sharing the cost of the cake and a nice $116 watch from SWATCH for her. After that went to Four Leaves to get Coco Exotic cake...After that i went to her house to put the cake while they went to get ingredients for steamboat...which is something i dont know how to do...haha...after all the preparations finally get to eat!!! was really very stuffed...haha...after that i managed to do half a question of accounting before making my way home with a lot of goodies that they gave me...so touched..reached home at 11.30 pm...go bathe and do my own stuff...late liao i better go and sleep...or else tmr late again....

Feelings

2008-02-03T00:53:00.000+08:00

Feeling i have been concentrating on too many small problems and i have truly missed the big picture...maybe i try too hard at the wrong things...but i have fully realised the mistakes so no more doing so...i need to redirect myself to focus on the one thing that matters...friends i will tell you if i want to so pls dont ask me about this post...

Tmr having a whole day with my dear...so miss her because we havent seen each other the whole week...leave the future things for the future but remember the past...

2008-01-26T02:29:00.000+08:00

TGIF! I had a not so busy day today. Today i went to school...first up was accounting lesson..teacher first showed us our attendance record and a few class mates going to get debarred from exams soon if they dont do detention soon...gonna do something about it...teacher teach new topic - non trading organisation accounts...the whole class blur...Next was BC but i wasnt really paying full attention because the subject matter itself is boring...got more energy when teacher asked us to divide into groups and do a story on rhyming words to make a poem like that...some of my class mates were really awesome in doing that...haha...

then after school i went with my grp of friends to have lunch in the canteen and then we went out to J8...wanted to play arcade with meiying jess joeii and dishan but got chased out because i was wearing school pants (I wore my Interact Club shirt)...haiz...but i was not angry because its not worth getting angry over..haha...so went down to Ya Kun to settle some school stuff while waiting for them to finish playing...then walked back to school together..they had Mic Studio bonding session while i needed to meet teachers for Interact Club thing...

Met the teachers go home rest for a while before going out to meet some new friends. After that went at late night out to play pool at Pool Fusion at Beach road there...played a few good games with our friend, sis and me...getting interested in pool and snooker things already. We walked over to Esplanade to take night rider home. Reached home in 35 mins was very fast...haha...that is how i spent my friday...shall stop here today...

Tomorrow going to spend yet another romantic night at East Coast Park with my dear and her poly clique friends...haha...

Happenings

2008-01-21T15:06:00.000+08:00

Never update for a month plus liao...blog growing spider web already...haha...anyway today school like very relaxed lo...first up was accounting...BUT our teacher didnt come to school cos she went for course today and tmr (must check for wednesday)...so the relief teacher come in a while then go out again...we went to check whether the stats teacher got come or not...in the end check with section head when reached staff room...wahh...people taking stats from our class also have relief...best...like a mini holiday while the banking people (incl. me) dragged ourselves through doing the revision assignments given...it was dry and boring...Banking CA on thursday but i didnt study much...must chiong already....

So after school went with the group to have lunch at AMK. I had mixed veg rice...there was a lot of rice and i ended up stuffed. so after talk talk a bit...i mostly listening...haahaa...after that went to 101 station to look at shoes bags and stuff...joeii bought a pair of great looking shoes..haha...

After that went G2000 and they are having a reduction offer where men's shirt is selling for $23 at the cheapest. I am looking around for a nice formal shirt as well as a t shirt. Oh ya and bermudas or shorts too. But no money now so sad...:(

To some one: Please speak to us in person and clarify any "problem" that you think you have with us before it gets worse and worse...and dont hide behind handphone messages and TALK to us in person...

2007-12-25T13:44:00.000+08:00

This was how i spent my Christmas eve - at the park with my DEAR and her inner circle from poly...hehe....romantic ah....

Dishan Bday Celebration

2007-12-22T01:34:00.001+08:00

Today went out to celebrate Dishan bday...woke up at 10.30 am like that...do my own stuff till 12.15 set off...went to meet joell and Hwee Teng to go together to Dhoby Ghaut where we are meeting the rest...reach already 3 of us earliest so we wait at platform a while then at control station a while before meeting Jess, Yamei, Mei Ying at The Cathay..we thought we carry a lot of things but they carry even more...haha...and went to the basement to sign the card they have prepared for Dishan...nice card lo...It was orange, the bday girl's fave colour...Next the cutting of cake...it was DURIAN!! and a very nice tasting one from 4 Seasons at that..and we also had chocolate cake with a bit of alcohol for Joell belated bday...her cake was a small nice ke ai one lo...she cannot cut the cake cos bday over so they went and cut for her.

then, we went to Paradiz Centre to play a few rounds of pool and then Yingqi had to go home at 4 pm because of a curfew i think...after that they had the Christmas gift exchanging(for gals)...i got individual gifts from Dishan (a Smiley Faced Saving box) and Hwee Teng (a packet of Cafe 21...hahah...i LOVE coffee). Dont worry girls i will try my best to cut down on my coffee intake from every day to maybe 3 or 4 times a week then to 1 or 2 times lo...cos i know it is not good for my health...Thanks for the gifts...i havent bought the present i am supposed to buy for Bala for Xmas exchange(guys)...i have in mind a few things suitable for him (maybe tmr i would go and buy it)

After Pool, i think we were still full so go play arcade before going to have dinner at Cafe Cartel at PS...It was my first time eating at Cafe Cartel...i had Hawailian pork chop and added $3.60 to have a soup of the day and drink(coffee). It was delicious but i got full very quickly cos had THREE big pork chops...After 10% student discount the price for 6 main course and 1 salad was $86+....still ok lo...i paid $18.10..ok cos not everytime i will eat there one....Jess and Mei Ying had to go home after that so Dishan, Yamei, Joell and me went up to the arcade at PS and played the touch screen games...had fun...then went to carrefour to walk around till i had to go home at 10..and tmr i going for a BBQ and to meet my girl...Merry Xmas everyone!

Nothing much

2007-12-19T14:45:00.000+08:00

Nothing much to blog about recently...today is sort of a day where i can get peace and quiet in the comfort of my own room and relax...miss this kind of feeling where i can lay back and enjoy the passing of time. Looking forward to Friday where we are celebrating Dishan's bday!! From now to then i will just relax and chill.

Holiday!

2007-12-16T13:33:00.000+08:00

The holidays are here! I am going to enjoy these 3 weeks though we have 2 projects (Banking and Biz Comm) to finish before start of school....but no reason to be sad lah. I hope i wont be...hahah

Friday during Accounting went though a question and BC the teacher never teach cos she was giving feedback on our Oral Presentation to each person so quite relaxed one...I went with Ben to help Mr Koh move mattress to a lorry to return to other ITEs before school finish..

Was co-emcee for the Interact Club Christmas Celebration for the elderly from Lions Befrienders...had to take over the mandarin speaking portion at the last minute because the girl went on MC. Had a fun time although raining very heavily. We had colouring game for them first....they had to colour a Christmas Tree printed on
yellow paper. After that they numbered all the papers and let teacher choose which ones are the nicest. Nicest 5 got prize wor....haha...Got one auntie not happy because when we announce 19 got prize, there were 2 auntie put up their hand so they chose the other one....sad...

Next is the Latin Dancers...i never seen Latin Dance so close and it was awesome!
Then is the Chinese orchestra performance...after that we sent them to the Roof Garden for some food and drinks before sending them up the bus home to Marsiling. Should have seen the look of happiness on their faces...something money cannot buy.

Anyway after the debrief everything had finished it was 6 pm already so i went home first before deciding whether should meet my dear or not. In the end i met her for dinner and chat a bit.

Dont worry about me....i am trying my best to change and i am sure i CAN do it.

2007-12-06T21:04:00.000+08:00

I just want to enjoy myself for the next few days because of my and my gf birthdays coming ....problems are nagging at me and i refuse to give in to whining again...every time i relax problems just seem to come to my mind...i am trying real hard to change my ways....

2007-12-05T17:24:00.000+08:00

This morning we played a really good game of captain's ball with another class. It was closely fought and i felt that i tried my best in catching, releasing and blocking. Best game i ever had so far in the last lesson of SW for this term. It ended with our loss by one or two points.

Dunno whether Mr Borhan teaching us for next term or not cos the way he say that each teacher take 3 terms and then change teacher already. I hope the next teacher will not be too tough in our SW....haahaa....i also hope for peace and the thing to die down. I am starting to like exercising because i feel relaxed after sweating it out, although i am smelly la...haha...

Accounting class we had chocolate cake where we had fun shouting, talking and making fun as a class...long time nv do that as a class already. It was like all troubles was put aside for every one in the half hour or so....Teacher wanted to celebrate end of CA and December birthdays or so i heard.

Went for Interact Meeting at the end of the school day when it was raining heavily. Everything for our Xmas celebration was being planned...i just waited to be briefed on what to do...Bala waited for me with 2 umbrellas because it was raining heavily...but i didnt expect the meeting to last beyond 15 mins cos i was told it would be a short one....so sorry man....

Tmr i am going for ITE Clementi Installation at 12 pm, last till 3 pm so i would miss ACCOUNTING...oh no...and i was bombed today cos teacher told me i made mistakes for another question in the CA paper...ai ya so fan sias....He lent another umbrella to another friend of his...Now taking a short while to blog cos maybe i wont be blogging for the next few days....I am so vague nowadays....Ending my post....ciaoz

Today....

2007-12-04T23:24:00.000+08:00

Today i woke up late for the extra lesson given by our Class Advisor before our CA...i was like oh crap i am late AGAIN!! But no matter how i rushed still feel slow...i think the stress too much for me to handle liao...Reached school at 8.45am...CA finish liao i think every one are relieved already....Exam paper got 3 questions but all short ones...i made a careless mistakes that will lead to many other mistakes...haiz...i always so careless...My jap test confirmed fail today cos i wrote only 4 characters out of many many characters.

Tmr thinking of going for dinner with my gf and her friends to do something relaxing for a change.

A lot of things going through my mind right now, i wish i could just relax and do nothing all day....but that kinda days has passed long ago...tmr morning can relax cos got SW (Yeah!)...i would be going to ITE Clementi for installation on Thurs afternoon and then Fri got Peer Mentoring talk....I think i am getting more and more weary...

Hello People

2007-12-03T19:09:00.001+08:00

It has been a long time (a month) since my last post. The latest thing that happened in my life was the celebration of my birthday by my group in school last friday (Nov 30). Dishan went home first.After school I went with meiying, jess, joeii and hwee teng to have lunch at S11....i had economical rice because it was the cheapest thing i could find. Haha...on budget now...

So we ate and then Meiying went off for work.... they(jess and hwee teng) brought me to Top of the 8 (if i remember the name correctly)...then Joell and Yamei appeared with a Choco Royal cake from Sweet Secrets and they sung a birthday song for me...took pictures...We also saw our classmate and gave her a piece of the cake...hahah...

After that we went bowling at Marina South...had a fun time. Dishan arrived at about 5 pm and joined in the game sharing Hwee Teng's shoes...was just a fun game without really minding the score. Its just irritating that the balls will get stuck in the pit and we had to press this red button twice before anybody come and solve our problem...

Presents opening: They gave me a coffeeholic cup and a green Everlast t shirt. Thanks a lot girls!

Then we went to PS to have dinner. I accompany them to shop around for things...also saw a few things myself...hahaha....then we went to food court....i had yong tau foo with my favourite kway teow...while they had jap food...too ex for me but looked nice to eat though...hahah...then i had to rush off to meet my Dear after she finished her own dinner with her colleagues at Vivocity...Thanks a lot people for the celebration :)

2007-11-04T15:48:00.000+08:00

Today did something rather meaningful. Went for the Lions Befrienders Walk this morning. Woke up at 6 am when i want to wake at 5 am. haha...had to rush a bit because i had to reach AMK at 6.45 am to take bus with my teachers and fellow school /class mates. Took a cab cos i reached the bus stop at 6.30 am so if i take the bus i will be late...it cost $4! Thought i was late but turns out we still needed to wait for all the people to gather...hahaha...Met up with the Interactors and my group from class as well as ppl from another class. The walk was going to start at 8 am at Bishan Park 1....

We got down one bus stop earlier and had to walk from one park to the other!! haha!! Our PM went to sound off the start of the walk and we walked one round of the park. We had to partner one elderly person for the walk just in case....the uncle i was with was very strong because he could last the 2.2 KM walk without stopping...It was quite fun and refreshing to walk early in the morning...hahah...After that went to AMK hub for a quick lunch with my class group...i was eating the lunch box they gave me at the park. haha....

2007-11-02T19:38:00.001+08:00

Today went to Fuji ice palace to celebrate Mei Ying's Birthday...She is one of the girls in our group in class... We had the whole group except Bala because he had to attend BL Leadership camp for the weekend. I was afraid to fall the first time but after finally falling, i got less and less scared to skate although still unstable in my footing...hahaha...had a very nice cake with Melody Picture on it. Very cute and nice....haha... After that, she opened our presents one by one but i think she never finished opening all because she had no time. Needed to rush home...haha...Thanks for the fun time....HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! We also saw Felicia Chin and Nat Ho ice skating there. Felicia looks like she just started skating not long ago...My friends go and request to take pictures with them. I didnt. I must admit they look very handsome and beautiful for Nat Ho and Felicia Chin respectively. Overall a good day i guess.

Dont know which fella has been posting nonsense on my Cbox...which i am frustrated at.

Tmr meeting my Dear Dear for a day in town...do not disturb hor...hahaha...

2007-10-19T16:36:00.000+08:00

It is getting harder for me to balance things. I could feel that the school load is heavier on me this sem. Not good that i feel this way after just a week of the new term. But i will learn to cope.

My classmate want me to join the committee of the snooker club that our school is forming...but i know nuts about snooker and just started playing pool only. The committee is supposed to be strong players i feel. So i am seriously considering whether or not to join because i have Jap lessons on mon and tues and Interact Club on some Fridays.

I need to re discover how to let go and relax at times. I lost that type of feeling...Why am i being so negative about things? Hai...

School

2007-10-17T21:06:00.001+08:00

Its the third day of school and i am still getting used to the timing of waking up early in the morning at 6 am plus...so scared i overslept haha...School timetable are as follows:

Monday: 8 am to 11.15 am
Tuesday: 9 am to 3.15 pm
Wednesday: 8 am to 3.15 pm
Thursday: 8 am to 2.15 pm
Friday : 8 am to 11.15 am

Not too tough a timetable except almost everyday got assembly except tuesday.

Today woke up at 6.30 am, went to school no assembly so we went early to class cos today has been shortened to 12.15 pm cos no SW.(Which also means no exercise today)
After school went to the S11 nearby our school to have lunch, after lunch talk talk for a while, then some of my classmates went off because they got something on...got work...so the three of us remaining went to basement to print name stickers and visit the NTUC to get some sweets and chocolates.

Came home feeling mentally drained so took a short nap for about 45 mins. Woke up still not very refreshed. Cannot figure out the trading profit and loss account fully yet...

Troubles starting now....

2007-10-08T02:38:00.000+08:00

I really dont want to be negative...but i have a few regrets that are chewing away at me now . Spent the past two days working as a promoter for Canon Brand photo printer which the Company wants to get rid of urgently....so i stood there like a vase and sold nothing...i am disappointed with the company...after one and nine months i feel like nothing there....so time to make a clean break.

I think my regrets are going to destroy me if i dont do anything bout it...i hope i could undo some of the stupid things i have done and do better at what i should have done right...then i wont be so ignorant....I am trying to resist drowning my sorrows because it wont help i think...

It really hurts..for the first time in my life i felt what pain is like and it comes at one shot. and one very long shot.

Dear i love you very much...i will change for the better.

Randomness

2007-10-05T22:37:00.000+08:00

Wth...Just got back from work and spent the last one hour trying to start up my PC...and finally the display came on. I dont know what i did wrong...can some IT expert please enlighten me...shi*t lah.

Today i just told my nice asst manager that i would quit and take the last week of my holidays to relax before school reopens. Bleh. I just grew tired and tireder of the job...and feel that maybe there is nothing much i could learn...I dont know...

Regrets...all of us have them...but i seem to have lots and lots....and the best thing is i can do nothing about it...i hope i dont create any more..

I need support now...all my life i never felt it much until my dear came into my life...then i started thinking about changing.

Cute Video about....LIZARDS???

2007-10-04T11:06:00.000+08:00

2007-10-01T02:26:00.001+08:00

I need to clarify that the lyrics i posted earlier is because i like the song, not a reflection of my thoughts. There is no problems...

Today work at Popular from 12 pm - 7 pm. After that went to meet Chris for a football match that was not very exciting but enough to entertain us for the 2 hours or so because both sides were attacking all the way untill the final 10 mins when they tired...Feels good to get back to watching soccer, which i really like. Met at 9 pm and the match started at 11 pm. Ended at 1 pm. Finally rememebered to give him back his MP 3 player...because he kept reminding me. Haha.

I am uncertain about what the future holds for me as a late starter. But i will give my best shot, no worries about that.

HAPPY BIRTHDAYS!

2007-09-27T22:50:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, Sep 26, we went out as a group to celebrate Jess and Joell's birthdays. Joell didnt turn up for reasons known to us. Never mind we could celebrate her birthday another day i guess.

Was supposed to meet Jess and Ying Qi at Orchard MRT Station control before meeting Dishan and Hwee Ting (They had gone to TAKA to order a cake first) but somehow couldnt make it on time...I took a bus there which probably took longer than usual. Somemore i need to alight at Far East and walk some distance to the MRT station. Appt at 3 pm but i reached at 4 pm =(

After that we went to heeren shops to walk around and they brought me to a place where we had wanton mee...not all people lo. We also meet Yamei, MeiYing and Pam before eating and cutting cake. They gave me one extra slice...how fattening!

Went to KBOX at roughly 7pm after that with dishan, yamei, meiying and jess....i am really out of touch with the songs cos most of the songs are like alien to me......but it was very fun. Went home at about 10.30 pm reach home about 11.15-11.20 liddat....

Should end here for the time being...because i am tired. Haha.

2007-09-25T00:20:00.000+08:00

Neva Let You Go by Janice.

The rain, just never seems to bring
The joy i feel the same, everlasting pain of my loss, remains.
My heart, can't seem to learn to part,
The hole you left your mark,
All that i dreamed of now it seems so stark.

Though i told myself, to hold my breath,
A part of me was dying.
There is nothing left for me to do now,
But give in.

If you gave me one chance to tell you how i was feeling,
I'd sing to you, and tell you i won't,
Live my life without you.
If you gave me one chance to tell you how i was feeling,
I'd hold your hand and look in your eyes,
And you know i'll never let you go.

The way you left me on the train,
I don't know what to say,
I remember everything that day.
I can't believe we never dance,
Just need one more chance
To share the sunset of our last romance.

Confused

2007-09-19T22:35:00.000+08:00

As always. With life...with studies....with working while studying....when can i be NOT confused anymore...I am 23 but dont feel like i have been through what a 23 year old should have been through....

About one thing i have to think about during the holidays...is if i work during school time would i be earning $$ at the expense of my studies, gf , family and other things....need to figure this out before start of term. But on the other hand i need the $$$...

Exams over, Work starting....

2007-09-12T10:20:00.000+08:00

It seems i have to compensate for my mindless slacking in the past and i am still paying for my past mistakes...it is hard sometimes...I have no choice but to work extra hard to make up for it...NO Choice...

We had our Accounting exam yesterday...it was a challenging paper but pretty straight forward. I could not balance the Bank Recon at the end. Got tricked. Haiz. We just have to wait for results online...But whats done is done so no point worrying bout it i guess.

So confusing....

2007-09-10T15:29:00.000+08:00

I am confused right now. It seems like i have added responsibility now that i am an adult in full time school now. Seems like i have to work extra hard because i am a late starter in life...every thing extra....very tiring....

Just finished our BZF exam today....went with the group to the library for a while before going home...but my mind was on my future....no OUR future....or seemingly the lack of one....so maybe i would just work my way while studying...all the way....its going to get tough from now on....i just want to have more fun...everything i dunno...i will work hard for our future because its in my hands now. I NEED TO MAKE CHANGES NOW...Love ya....

Friends JIAYOU!! For the exam.

Friends: I will tell you what is going on when i am ready to.

Life

2007-08-23T21:43:00.000+08:00

Nothing very much exciting happening in my life right now....cos now its just studies studies and studies cos exams are just 2 weeks away and of course not forgetting my Dear and family....But i wish i can make more use of my time effectively...I do feel sometimes i am doing too little with my time....

Went to dear's house on Monday...watched TV with her....

I realised that my blog has a lot of words and NO pics in the years i have it(seldomly updated untill recently) so pictures will be coming soon i promise....

Maybe meeting her tmr....if time permits i will...trying to manage my time more effectively....

2007-08-10T22:43:00.000+08:00

You Are An INTJ

The Scientist

You have a head for ideas - and you are good at improving systems.
Logical and strategic, you prefer for everything in your life to be organized.
You tend to be a bit skeptical. You're both critical of yourself and of others.
Independent and stubborn, you tend to only befriend those who are a lot like you.

In love, you are always striving to improve your relationship.
You have strong ideas of what love should be like.

At work, you excel in figuring out difficult tasks. People think of you as "the brain."
You would make an excellent scientist, engineer, or programmer.

How you see yourself: Reasonable, knowledgeable, and competent

When other people don't get you, they see you as: Aloof, controlling, and insensitive

What's Your Personality Type?

Its MY life not another one's else's.....

2007-08-10T00:08:00.000+08:00

I am starting to realise its the time to take FULL CONTROL of my life instead of being too dependent on others like in the past...i was wrong in many ways but now starting to mend it....Stand by me, Dear pls. I need your support and help in many areas and also my sister....hope to change a lot of things in these 2 years lo....

To my friends...

2007-08-06T17:01:00.000+08:00

Been struggling with myself recently...i dunno why i am feeling this low when i should have been happy to get the chance to study again full time....Maybe its because there is a lot of situations i never encountered before and it sort of overwhelms me....

Am starting to see the light of situations once again. Thanks dear...for standing beside me silently but strongly yesterday....I think for every bad situation there is a good side...you are right...i am still learning about things...not going to shortchange myself again by giving up...I just have to believe in myself.

I need to lighten up a bit. Being too hard on myself.

2007-07-29T11:55:00.000+08:00

You Are a Beagle Puppy

Cheerful, energetic, and happy go lucky.
And you're sense of smell is absolutely amazing!

What Breed of Puppy Are You?

Regrets....

2007-07-27T15:26:00.000+08:00

Recently, i realised i still have the same problems as i did 6 years ago. Which means i havent solved the problems...i have been focusing on the wrong things in life all the while....the clock cannot be reversed...that is the one BIG BIG regret that i have in life. I think what i can do is to try my best in everything....and hope for the best for me...Moody because of all this recently...

Going to meet up with my dear for dinner and shopping at Mustafa this evening. I never shopped at Mustafa before. Sua Ku sia. haha.

Just finished my Accounting CA2 and BZF CA in this month alone. And still got Excel(OA topic) CA to go....after that relax a bit then we chong for EXAMS k? IQC rocks!

Lost....

2007-07-21T20:00:00.000+08:00

Lost.Confused.Inferior. These are the emotions that i feel today. Lost and confused because i don know which direction i am heading or what i should do in future to change myself...i got a lot of areas to improve on....uncertain whether i would lose ultimately. Future is bleak...

Inferior because it took me 6 years and i am right back whether i started. Taking Accounting in ITE. Why the hell did i quit?

My dear went on a two week trip to China-Macau-Hongkong...and i suddenly feel all alone with no one to talk to regarding my troubles...i don have the habit of opening up to my family about the problems that i face in life.

End of Post. I dont have the mood to blog too long.

I am going nuts with the Accounting.....

2007-07-15T15:47:00.000+08:00

Just finished a whopper of an accounting question. Tough because u have to be really alert as to which account to open and which side of the account to debit. Because every mistake cost me marks. AND i dont want to lose marks.I got a feeling i always do things that waste time during the questions like writing headings for EACH and EVERY T Account. It is not needed but i want to be safe. My test is on Thursday. Less than a week away. My exam schedule is out.

Changing every thing is tough but i want to go ahead with it because it is no use for me to stay at the same qualifications and living in a small world, always peeking out from the bottom of the well...

2007-07-09T12:27:00.003+08:00

Joyce put these on her website to motivate me. To which i think she is really a leader and someone i can learn the art from. HAHA!

This is me.....

Also me...

Leadership

2007-07-09T11:55:00.000+08:00

Hi guys,
I have free time today after being released from school at 10am instead of 1pm as usual because the Teacher who is supposed to teach us between 10-12 didnt come as he was on course. The teacher from the 12-1 lesson agreed to postpone the lesson to Friday but i feel bad i could not do anything about the people who will be inconvenienced as the majority of the class said yes to the idea of a postponement. I am more like a grassroot leader. Care for the people!!! No i am just kidding. Some more i was in a very neutral position. Today only lesson was just a refresher for the last topic of last term.

Just came back from the Interact Club Leadership Training camp yesterday. It was a short camp, 3 days 2 nights. Went Friday afternoon broke camp yesterday afternoon. But i discovered more about myself and discovered an major weakness: I dont mix around and talk much, this will be an disadvantage if i came out to society to work for the second time. I am trying to change that, starting today and Joyce, the real difference is: I did start today. Although i did get some contacts and emails so i am not TOTALLY unsociable unlike in the past. So i am encouraged by my change. I also found out that i am about the only person not on the Board of Directors in my Club. WOAH. It is an honour lo. Sort of earmarked. Cannot run away kind of thing.

Having fun and still getting great grades shall be my priority now.Oh ya, and learning to be a leader. from the most unlikely of sources: My classmates and teachers.

"A leader has the vision and conviction that a dream can be achieved. He inspires the power and energy to get it done."
Ralph Lauren

My life is full again

2007-07-06T12:15:00.000+08:00

Hi everyone who reads my blog. Yesterday i watched Transformers with my girlfriend and her colleague who i also know(Cos...i was ex staff there ma....). First we went out to have Macdonalds breakfast at 9.30 am. It was at Tampines Mall. I was quite tired because i only managed to sleep at 2 or 3 am. Damn i nearly fell asleep but i had to get up and use the com on impulse at 11 am....then cannot sleep. Lucky I was in time.

I cant help it at times. Sometimes i feel that i am too intense and think too much of a simple issue. Brain too active sometimes. Thank Goodness for the tasty Cappuccino that Macdonalds(TM) has. Nice to taste some different coffee other than Nescafe and the Kopitiam coffee(which i am sick of).

Back to the movie, it was a FIVE STAR for me and because i love action films i found myself excited at the fight scenes between humans and robots, robots and robots, robots and fighter jets....WOW. I love the fight scenes...haha. Not going to spoil it for those planning to watch. But they are not going back to their own planet. And there are 2 sequels coming up (Great. I will be waiting).
I think i am going to watch Die Hard 4.0 next. Deprived of action films.

Also went to Robinsons Raffles City Shopping Centre at night with girlfriend to buy this(She paid it herself, cos i no money...):

This has sort of a fruity smell and is not overbearing on the nasals. Nice to smell. I smell until i drunk yesterday (Kept smelling samples and samples of perfume). Costs $98 which is mighty a lot and weighs 50 ml.

I also need to get more clothes for myself. My clothes are out of date except the new ones that my girlfriend bought me. But for unknown reasons, it always comes out of the wash faded and in a shade of yellow. :(

Going to end my blog and go for my Interact Club camp soon (Community Service Club as they call it in Poly). Catch up with you guys in the future.

2007-07-03T17:50:00.000+08:00

Not very busy now. So thought i might take a while to post before i go off jogging on a half full stomach.

1. Photos will be coming as soon as i have a digital camera. No lah i am kidding. They will be coming if there is an event. I surely will add cos i think pictures are worth more than a thousand words.

2. Singapore got 2 murders recently. Shows that we are safe but not THAT SAFE. Crime still exists. And we got to be alert to not fall victim. Careful when u outside guys.

3. I think Arsenal is in danger of falling apart next season after Henry defected to Barcelona(for even less than Darren Bent lo). They bought an unknown striker(again this IS Wenger after all). I will be waiting to see him and Arsenal CF flop in the new season. HAHA.

4. On the other hand, Man Utd signed Owen(the midfielder not the striker), Nani and Anderson this off season. I will want to see them add to United's depth and whip Chelski's ass again. And after that, sew the manager's gap. I will stick to United all my life i guess. Its unlikely in the next 40-50 years they will be relegated. At most they will fall to a mid table team how ever lousy.

5. As always, i will love JLCH!! haha!!!

So bored....

2007-06-30T20:33:00.000+08:00

So i guess this 2 days (including today) are the straight line period of my life when i got nothing much on in my life. Spend the last 2 days either surfing the net, chatting on MSN, making calls to my gal or tidying up my table or watching tv. Really got nothing much to do.

Oh ya!I also went back to school yesterday to hand my Cher the receipts for her to claim the expenses for sentosa. (She gave us $100 out of her own pocket) Nearly forgot to give her the left over change from Sentosa.

Haiz.I guess sometimes peace and resting does help me in going further both energy wise and life wise.

Boring End to Boring Post.

2007-06-27T13:31:00.000+08:00

You Are 6: The Loyalist

You have strong relationships and are intensely loyal.
People find you easy to love and care for.

You like your world to be stable and secure, no surprises.
You're cautious. You prefer your inner circle to the outside world.

At Your Best: You are courageous, a positive thinker, and expressive. You can take on the world.

At Your Worst: You are secretly insecure - which makes you sarcastic, cold, and argumentative.

Your Fixation: Doubt

Your Primary Fear: Abandonment

Your Primary Desire: Security and support

Other Number 6's: Mel Gibson, Woody Allen, Jay Leno, Marilyn Monroe, and Julia Roberts.

What Number Are You?

Class Outing

2007-06-27T13:14:00.000+08:00

Been two months since i last posted. Looks like a lot has happened like that. There is still the issue of settling in school. I have never faced a situation when u try to fit in with a whole bunch of 18 year olds in class when u know nothing about anything at all. I need to do it slowly and steadily after 6 years out of school. Its only been 2 months. It is a new challange to me. My life is interesting again!

We went to Sentosa yesterday for our FIRST ever outing as a class.Met my classmates at 9am at Harbourfront MRT Sation Control and my teacher to collect the frisbee and volleyball (actually only one classmate. Met the rest of the organising committee at the bus interchange there to take the bus into Sentosa). We went to Palawan Beach which was very quiet. The class turnout (21 out of 33) was acceptable to me i guess. We went in later than scheduled but we also prepared the drinks and foods.

Afternoon. I kept calling teachers and the group there was coming in later. But i know when is call too much and i told my classmates straight but nicely. I admit for words, sometimes i am still not very fluent. You cannot force me to do what i don want to even if so.

Went in for a short dip in the water. Its so salty when i caught a small mouthful in my mouth. Came up as i were feeling tired and decided to chill on the beach. There was a crazy guy who kept jumping off the opposite rocks and attracting the whistle of the life guard. We were looking with intent. :)

We went to Banquet to have dinner. Now i have this bundle of receipts from there. I do not think that it is possible to claim but Cher wants to try. Let her try lo. She treat us to dessert also but me being more tired and blur than hungry by then, didnt want anything already.

That was a tiring day man.

P.S. FYI, I quit Popular already and dont think will be working anytime soon!
P.S.2 I love you, JLCH!
P.S.3 I want a PS3!

2007-04-22T00:54:00.000+08:00

Hello all who are reading this,
Today is my first day of work after a week of school and i am losing patience with my company. I am trying to be nice when the management doesnt think me important enough to discuss things with me even when i was a full timer. Its a feeling i had on and off for the past one and half years during full timer period and it is about to come to a head. The problems as follows:

I converted to a part timer and only go back on Saturdays as a tryout first. Today, on my first Saturday back, i heard that they are making plans(unconfirmed but still gets my blood boiling) to transfer in a Retail Assistant as they are shorthanded on weekdays. True.We are really shorthanded. But no one ever tells me anything there. The retail assistant in question is a former Multimedia staff who has gone over to cashiering. What i am fuming at is no one bothered to tell me about this arrangement, even if its unconfirmed. Never mind. I should wait and see. I will ask where i stand once i hear this RA is in. I am on fairly ok terms with her. Just that i feel unimportant and ignored. Most importantly unappreciated.

I feel sorry for the 33 people who died in the Virgina Tech Uni's senseless gun rampage by this South Korean guy. The guy should have been forced to undergo some sort of long term counselling that would have made him feel better bout himself and others. Some times i wonder what a world it has become that we are discriminated against based on skin colour, background, stereotyping. To quote Giodarno( risk being sued by them)...Sometimes i wonder this was a World Without Strangers.

Hope i get through the TWO YEARS without any major problems. Dear i think you know what i mean. Dunno, ask me lo!! LOL!

Problems, Problems, Problems....when will it really end? Dear Dear....

3rd day of school

2007-04-18T22:30:00.000+08:00

Hi everyone,
Today is the 3rd day of school. I am still getting used to the kooks and crannies of BISHAN ITE. I have to admit, i am a bit slow in picking up and understanding the lessons so far, however simple they may be at this stage. Its a combo of rustiness(I didnt study for six years between this one and my last period of study) and my natural learning style (a bit slower and relaxed, sometimes too relaxed). I think i need at least a month of trying every day to settle in. I miss my Dear.

I made a couple of new friends, still not sure what to say to them so i appear quiet.
The rest of the class are shy around me as i am around them. Haha.I still have difficulty talking to some patterns of people i realise.

No matter what happens, i wont give up this time. Its swim or sink for me from now on until the end of this course. I wont give in to external influences not to study. (eg friends. Its incredible how peer pressure can be nowadays.)

I am an adult now and i will take the power and rock steadiness of an adult and the energy and vibrancy of an eighteen year old and combine them into me. I will DARE TO BE DIFFERENT from now on. Haha.

Photos would be in soon.

First day of School...after 6 years.

2007-04-16T22:02:00.000+08:00

Hi everyone, today is my first day of school after 6 years out of the mainstream education system. I have to admit, every thing feels so weird and alien to me. I felt like running back to my deer deer for comfort.

I am already starting to miss the days when i would see a cheerful( she tries her best to be) Dear Dear often. When i was a full timer at Popular, i can go for lunch and/or dinner with my Dear almost every day, i can talk to her bout anything, i can have someone comfort me when i am down. I dont feel uncomfortable around her. Now i can only see her once or twice a week. :(

Re-integration into School: Its hard when you are the oldest in your class( and no 1 on a class register that goes by the IC number). The next oldest guy is 5 years younger. So is the rest of the class. Haiz and i am not exactly the most expressive or talkative person by today's standards. AND being in a progression class, most of my class are FROM ITE Bishan. Which means they have their own cliques and friends already. That is a new situation for me. I am not fretting too much over it though. I will let nature run its course. Being older, i sure know how to do that. I just felt a discomfort the type you feel when you are trying to know someone or when you are new. Didnt feel that in a year already. Strange feeling.

My class in ITE Bishan has only 5 guys to a class of 34 or 35. Outnumbered by girls 6 to 1 if you counted. Ha ha. I am still getting to know the people there. Guys are a rare commodity there. I am completely focused on getting to Poly though. I will work very hard for it. I guarantee that. At the grand age of 23 i cannot be fooling around with my studies anymore. Because if i miss this chance and fail, there is NEVER going to be a THIRD chance. EVER.

Today is the day when our store staff will count their stock in preparation for their stocktake tmr. I wonder how my ger is doing. When i went back to fetch my keys this afternoon(which i left at her place), she was counting. Now at 10.15 pm, she is still counting. My poor deer.

I have to go and get prepared for the second day in school tomorrow. Hope some kind of progress is made tomorrow.